May 31, 2011

Not Cool - Really

Can someone please explain the bow tie to me. I've been trying to figure it out for years and it doesn't make any sense to me.  I mean it...years!  Granted, I don't think about it too often (thankfully), but every so often I'll see someone wearing one and think what the f*#k!?  Does this jagoff think he looks good in a bow tie?  In the name of all that's holy and fashionable (of which I'm neither), it's a bow tie!

Let me clarify something before I move on.  I'm not talking about tuxedo bow ties.  That's the only time you can wear a bow tie and get a bump up in style points.  That is, as long as it's standard issue and not one of those "look, I'm in the wedding party and I'm wearing a pink polka-dot bow tie that coordinates with the bridesmaids dresses" kind of bow tie.  Then you belong with the other bow tie-wearin' geeks that I'm calling out.  And I don't even care if the spineless groom or Bridezilla forced you into it - have some onions and stand up for your manhood.  First it's the bow tie and before you know it you're inviting Bridezilla to the bachelor party.  I actually went to a BP where the bride-to-be showed up.  Turns out she was invited by the groom.  If he was wearing a bow tie that night I would've strangled him with it.

So why do people do it then?  Take Tucker Carlson for example - he's not Brad Pitt but he's a decent looking guy (I can say that comfortably, knowing I don't wear bow ties intentionally).  For years this guy wore bow ties and my first thought when I saw him was usually not "uptight conservative that was born into money and never encountered a shovel or a minority up close".  My first thought would be, what is this jack-ass doing with a bow tie on?  Doesn't he know he looks like a Geek tragedy?  It used to tick me off to no end.

Through the ages there have been a whole bunch of other clown-wear supporters and one thing is for sure - fashions change, styles may come and go, but unless you're Pee Wee Herman or the Gingerbread Man, you shouldn't intentionally be wearing a bow tie.            

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