DMV - Dodging Misguided Vehicles

Okay, so before I get back into my NJ Turnpike Behavioral Analysis theory, I want to expand on this thing about the old guy from my last post.  Listen, I'm not trying to pick on seniors.  If I'm lucky enough to get there I hope to one day be the 85-year-old guy with a bumper full of frustrated tailgaters.  The problem is this - the 85-year-old guy has had his license for 68 years!  68 years - without ever having to retake his driving test!  Do we even know when the last time he drove was?  It could've been 67 years ago.  Do we even know if the old guy can see?  I wear contact lenses and I have to get an eye test every couple of years before I can get new contacts.  Yet nobody at the DMV cares if you're as blind as Sandra Bullock or Heidi Klum seem to be.  Hell, as long as he keeps up with the administrative stuff - renew his license and pay his insurance - the old guy can keep his license forever.



You see why this driving crap is so frustrating?  I'm minding my own business, eating a Bacon Double Bypass burger, checking out my iPod playlists, doing 75 while talking to my buddy and.....eerrrttttt....I gotta lock 'em up because I'm suddenly right on top of some old man in an '69 Lincoln doing 45 and swaying like he's driving to the 'Don't Worry Be Happy' beat.  How is it that more people aren't getting killed on the road?  I don't mean from accidents, I mean from people shooting each other.  You'd think you'd hear these stories coming out of Texas every other day.  I know if I had to jam on my brakes and my burger slid off the front seat, then either the old man or Bobby McFerrin was going down.

Just to be clear, I'm not picking on seniors.  I'm just making the point that we need to retest - everyone.  I don't care how old you are, how long you've been driving or how long you've been in this country.  The reality is that you're driving a loaded weapon and your skill level in handling it should be checked every now and again.  By the way, if you're like me and you're thinking that Bobby McFerrin was dead already, he's not.  Turns out it was a rumor a few years ago.  So....don't worry, be happy!  Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Alright, I went on too long again.  I'll have to pick up on my predictive behavior model next time.  And I promise, I'm laying off of Bobby McFerrin.  Next time we focus on the Lawn Doctor.  Huh?  Stay tuned...